Before we begin, these films are listed in least horrible to the totally, most ridiculous, should have never been made films. It’s a list, so if you don’t like our picks, let us know in the comments. Tell us why you don’t like a pick or even give us a few of yours!
In any case, here are 10 of the most ridiculously horrible films ever made (not the only 10, just 10).
10. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy
A very smart line was written in the film, Clerks II. “All right, look, there’s only one “Return,” okay, and it ain’t “of the King,” it’s “of the Jedi.”” That line was said by Randall Graves. Now perhaps we are closer to Randall’s age (Generation X!) so we get it, but this trilogy was just depressing. We don’t want to make this a debate over which trilogy is better, we are merely pointing out that all they did in these movies was walk. It would have been better served as a fitness video, not a fantasy. All that money spent…for walking. God that sucks.
Schooner gets fucked in a pool by a demonically possessed Jesse Spano. If you thought for one second that this wouldn’t be on the list, well we just don’t know what to say. The only thing that makes this movie remotely watchable is Gina Gershon. Yeah, we miss Gina. Not enough to watch this on a regular basis, but you get what we’re saying.
This is probably one of those horrible films you’ve never even heard of before this list. If you haven’t all we can say is, “Good for you!” We don’t know how or why, but apparently Mira Sorvino found herself with nothing to do and the movie gods aligned to pair her with Mariah Carey and Melora Walters. Sorvino plays a waitress that ends up getting tied up with the mob and drugs. Get it, they are Wise girls. If you don’t know about it, it’s because the film never found a distributor. It went to cable as opposed to having a traditional release.
7. Over the Top
In the 80s, little was as gluttonously entertaining as a Sylvester Stallone action flick. Merits of his acting or writing aside, there is something charming about him and his films. He had to get one of them wrong though, and apparently it’s this one (though Oscar was pretty bad). Stallone is a truck driving, arm wrestler that just wants to see his kid. He wrestles in a championship in order to get custody of his son and we get to meet a cast of interesting arm-wrestling characters and see the drama from a son that wants to find his dad, as bad as his dad that wants to find him. Personally, we can’t get past angry handlebar mustache guy. He’s just so angry and his mustache is so…prevalent.
6. Alone in the Dark
Mixing Uwe Boll and Tara Reid could be the biggest recipe for a super disaster that I could think of. Video game movies are notorious for being screwed up in Hollywood. They are hardly ever a good thing. Though it’s hard to pick the worst video game movie, I think the rating of 2 on IMDB will give you a clue that it’s up there with the worst of them.
The fact that Mariah Carey has only made a couple of movies and they’ve both ended up on this list should surprise no one. This film was so terrible she ended up having a nervous breakdown and disappearing after it was made. She plays a singer. She is a singer. At the end, she sings a song. It’s not as magical or glittery as she hoped it would be. We’re just glad it’s over.
4. Mac & Me
Mac & Me was made in the 80s and things were different then. That being said, this movie was just all over the place! The kid in the wheelchair could only be best friends with an alien and he was flying off cliffs into the water. There was just all sorts of madness here. We’re not saying it’s not worth watching unless it’s a clip being presented by Paul Rudd on Conan. We’ve seen that one before. Let’s not forget the dance number at McDonald’s. Breaking into dance in any 80s movie seems logical, but doing it in a movie that centers around a cheap E.T. knockoff just adds to the lame factor.
3. Baby‚Äôs Day Out
The John Hughes, I’ve finally fallen off the fucking rocker, film. It’s like Home Alone with dumber criminals and babies. A rich baby is kidnapped, by the dumbest criminals in the world. The baby escapes. I don’t need to go deeper into detail. If you’ve seen any of these caper-y style Hughes movies, you get what we’re saying.
John Norman managed to write the most infuriating series known to man. His fans are some of the most rabid of all fantasy series though. So, it’s only natural that his series would spawn at least one movie. You can try and take nuggets of brilliance from the books, but the movie is all on its own. If the number one film on our list didn’t exist, this would probably be in its place.
1. The Room
If you haven’t seen The Room you should see it. If you’re in film you should definitely see it. It’s hard to believe that any film could be this bad, but it’s true. This is perhaps the worst film ever made. It’s painful to watch. Still, if you start watching it, you will see that it’s so bad that you cannot stop watching. If nothing else you will get some great lines from The Room like “Oh Hi, -insert name-,” “Leave your *stupid* comments in your pocket!,” and “YOU’RE TEARING ME APART!”