5 TV Inspired Baby Names that Should Never be Given to Children

Weird baby names are inflicted upon poor children all the time. Parents get obsessed with a musician, a product, a gimmick in relation to the child’s last name (see North West), a TV show, movie or other piece of media. Hooked on these things they think it’d be AWESOME to commemorate their favorite thing by naming their kid after it. The thing is, interests change. Shows go off the air. Names lose favor and the kid gets stuck being the only Honey Pot Tutu Child in a sea of Jacks and Janes.

While we like less used names for originality sake, some names just don’t need to be inflicted upon poor innocent babies! Here is a list of five potential names inspired by popular television shows we can see becoming popular by parents, even though they are weird and shouldn’t be used as baby names.

5. Pawnee

A Mural of Pawnee with Leslie Knope

First of all would this be a boy’s name or a girl’s name? Leslie Knope is obsessed with Pawnee. Sure, it rhymes with Shawnee, but we don’t really like that name much either (sorry Shawnee Smith!). What’s next? First Pawnee, then a bunch of kids with names like Pine Valley and Candy Kingdom? It’s bad enough there are baby names that are really directions on a map or other cities (see North West). At least if you name a baby something like Maebe, it makes sense if you ever go on Maury. If they ever ask if you’re the father…you can say…Maebe….Maebe not….

4. Kahleesi

A beautiful photo of Emilia Clarke as Khaleesi

We love Game of Thrones as much as the next guy and we’d be thrilled to have more girls in the world that reminded us of Emilia Clarke, but let’s face facts. At best, you’re naming your daughter after a young girl that marries a savage, eats a horse heart, and walks into fire naked. At worst, you’re giving her a name that’s going to sound awfully strange being called over a nursing home speaker. This is the name on the list that is actually getting used for new babies (hundreds last year alone), and we’re scared for the future. What’s going to happen by 2048? We can see the campaign slogans now: Meet Senator Kahleesi Smith! She’ll free the slaves and reclaim the government as her own kingdom! Senator Khaleesi…for the people! – Right! Just stop the insanity now!

3. Lip

Lip Gallagher Pic

While technically Lip Gallagher’s name is short for Phillip, we can see some clueless parents out there naming their kid Lip, without the Phil in front of it. So, Lip makes a good nickname for a kid who is rough, tough and has had to practically raise himself and his other siblings with older sister, Fiona. However, we’re certain calling your two month old with a drool problem Lip borders on some kind of psychological abuse. We’ve seen parents give their kids names of nicknames for other, longer, regular names before. We’ve seen the Eds (not Edward), the Alexs (not Alexis or Alexanders/Alexandra), Nates or Nathans (not Nathaniels), and the Addies (not Adelaides), but those at least kind of feel like names. Lip sounds like something people called Elvis in his early years, and that is NOT a compliment!

2. Bazinga!

Bazinga! Sheldon Cooper

Nerd is cool. Sheldon Cooper nerd is bank. Anything associated with The Big Bang Theory is popular right now. We’ve seen all the Bazinga! t-shirts and other merch out there. Naming a kid Bazinga! is the next logical step, right? We know that Bazinga! isn’t the weirdest name for a kid to have, but we could certainly see Tiger Lily Geldorf or one of Bob Geldorf’s other assorted offspring boasting a name for their future newborn, like Bazinga! While weird baby names aren’t anything new, especially for the rich and famous, we just have one piece of advice. Just. Don’t. Do. It. This has to be one of the funniest yet saddest potential future baby names from a television show we can imagine. Would we be surprised to hear someone named their kid Bazinga!? Nope… Would we pray the young child changed their name to something simple like Bob or Susie once old enough? You betcha!

1. Kingslayer

Kingslayer Jamie Lannister

Sure, we have yet to hear this one used, but considering the popularity of Khalessi, were certain the next big name to come from Game of Thrones is going to be Kingslayer. While we feel for the little ones named after any television show label or title, we aren’t surprised when people are dumb enough to sentence their kids to a life of teasing, mispronunciations, but also a “cool story” about how mom and dad picked out this awesome given name. Just don’t name your kid Kingslayer. Yeah Jamie Lannister is a cool character on a cool show, but that’s just it. He’s a character. He’s fictional, but the reality of what your kid will go through on a daily basis if given this unusual name should be enough to keep you from naming your kid Kingslayer.

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About the author: Dominick

Dominick Evans is in his second year of the BFA Motion Pictures program at Wright State University. When not studying, making films, or writing papers, he is working to better his on campus community as the Director of Disability Affairs for WSU Student Government. Dominick spends any remaining time working as a writer/editor, playing video games, singing, as an activist in the disability and GLBT communities, and enjoying life with his family.

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