Writers: Suzanne Francis, Gabe Grifoni
Director: Mark Steilen
Cast: Kenan Thompson, Fran Kranz, Zachary Levi, Darrell Hammond, Jenny McCarthy, Andy Milonakis, Mindy Sterling, Blake Clark, Andrew B. Ackerman
Rating: R
Studio: Sony
Release Date: June 10, 2008

I’m not big into movies called Wieners. If the title turns me off, I’m pretty sure the movie isn’t going to make me jump for joy either. I’m also not big into direct-to-DVD releases. Usually, these movies are substandard. The studios releasing these movies often release direct-to-DVD movies because they may think the idea of the movie is okay, but it’s not worth going to a theater to see it and it’d probably cost more to show it in a theater, because these types of movies just don’t make money.

Did I mention I love being right? On occasion, a direct-to-DVD movie will be really good. That just peeves me off because I went into the movie thinking I was going to hate whatever movie it is and then I end up liking it. I just don’t like being wrong. On a weird side note, I should probably add that in looking up other reviews for Wieners, just to see if I was alone in my dislike for this Wienie of a movie, I kept getting results for In Her Shoes with Cameron Diaz. I’m not sure what the Cameron movie has to do with Wieners, but I’ve been saying Cameron was a wiener for years. This just confirms my suspicions.

Release Information:
I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn that Wieners is a direct-to-DVD release. Well, probably not since I implied that it was in the first section of this review, but before this review, you probably didn’t even know Wieners was a movie. Wieners was set to be released on June 3, 2008 by Sony Entertainment. For some reason, the release date was pushed back to June 10, 2008 and that’s around the time I received this DVD for review.

Wieners can be purchased online through various retailers. At DVD Empire, Wieners is available for $18.46. This is, oddly enough, less than at Amazon, where you can purchase Wieners for $22.46. Of course, at Amazon, this DVD is available for Free Super Shipping so if you plan to purchase more than one thing, going with Amazon might be the better choice.

The Wieners Plot
Wieners is about a group of wieners. I’m sure, by the title, you figured out how scintillating the plot would be. It’s about as simple as it comes and the movie is filled with plenty of gross and stupid humor. Some of it may be so gross it offends the weak minded and those with sensitive souls. This is rated R after all, so there has to be something grossly disgusting about this movie. The problem with Wieners is that the humor is taken way over the top and the story becomes more outlandish and unfunny in the process.

Joel (Fran Kranz) is a slacker. He’s happy being that way though. When Joel’s girlfriend breaks up with him on the publicly humiliating “Dr. Dwayne Show” Joel becomes depressed. It is up to his best buddies, Wyatt (Kenan Thompson) and Ben (Zachary Levi), to get him out of his funk. The guys decide there is no better way to cheer up Joel then by a cross country trip. I know that’d get me past public humiliation!

Wyatt has made a “wiener-wagon” the three take on their cross country journey. This can be called a journey of self-discovery. What else would such a journey have then a closer look at disgusting bodily fluids, disgusting jokes that fall flat, a chance to meet up with their former sixth grade teacher, who was the once hot Ms. Isaac (Jenny McCarthy) and the chance to give away free hot dogs to people along the way.

Wyatt is sure his free hot dogs will give him the experience he needs to work for Oscar Mayer, the job of his dreams. When the group approaches Los Angeles, Joel becomes consumed with revenge and an important part of the story deals with him getting back at Dr. Dwayne (Darrell Hammond). This movie also has all the clichés that make road trips in the movies what they are. There are three stupid guys, plenty of disgusting jokes and offensive humor, wiener wagon troubles and so much more.

Overall, this movie was dumb, dumb and dumber. The jokes weren’t funny. The stupidity was too stupid to count, and the cast was wasted on a lousy plot. Everything just stinks from this movie. I wouldn’t’ even recommend this movie to someone I didn’t like because the fact that the makers of this film think enough people liked it makes me fear that they’ll be making additional films of this caliber.

Storyline/Plot:
Replayability:
Acting:
Directing:

Audio/Visual:
The video quality is the best part of the film. I guess the producers spent all their time and money on making a nice 1.85:1 anamorphic widescreen transfer. You’d think they would spend more time working on things like plot development, character development and direction. Lo and behold they went stingy on these things and worried specifically about the video and audio quality. There are a few minor visual errors, but nothing too serious. Colors are vibrant, contrast is good and the level of saturation is fair. Overall, this is a decent video quality, but it’s not as spectacular as the quality of something like Transformers.

Wieners sounds as good as it looks. I feel I would have been happier if I enjoyed what was being said or I enjoyed the cheesy pop music that made up the soundtrack. The audio soundtracks available on the Wieners DVD include Dolby Digital 5.1 tracks in English, Thai, Portuguese, and Spanish. There is also a Dolby Surround track in French. The Wieners crew went all out for this DVD. Subtitles are available in English, French, Spanish, Thai, Portuguese, and Chinese. Closed Captioning is also available for the hearing impaired. I can’t really say anything bad about the audio, except maybe they should have spent more money paying a better writer and director instead of providing audio options that won’t get used by the majority of those who purchase this DVD.

Visual:
Audio:

Bonus Features:
I have to give the creators of Wieners kudos. They decided not to include any bonus features. I’ve found that the vast majority of crappy movies seem to be loaded up with the bonuses. On this DVD, you won’t be subjected to any additional torture than what the actual movie provides.

Bonus Features:

Bottom Line:
Wieners is stupid comedy though it’s not even stupid comedy at its best. This isn’t funny stupid, this is why the hell did they make this movie in the first place stupid. I like Kenan Thompson and I think he has more talent than this Saturday Night Live in its 30th season with writers who don’t know how to write comedy knockoff of a movie. I don’t recommend you buy this. I don’t even recommend you rent it. If you decide renting it is something you must do, try to find a coupon for your local DVD rental place. Otherwise, you might feel jipped out of the $2-$3 bucks you spent renting this piece of drivel.

Overall Rating:

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