In order to celebrate George Carlin’s newest exclusive, HBO Special, Literary Illusions is proud to be giving away five SIGNED posters of George Carlin. Please make sure you read the rules because this contest is a little bit different then our other contests. This time around you need to leave a comment with your favorite George Carlin quote. Easily one of the best comics of our time, it should be simple to find a suitable quote to leave as a comment. Comments that come without a quote will be deleted. If you submitted without a quote and do do not see your entry, please feel free to enter with a quote and your entry will be added.
To enter all you need to do is leave us a comment with your quote. Please be sure to only leave one comment. Comments are moderated to avoid spam, so it will not show up right away. People who leave multiple comments will be deleted from the contest altogether. If you do not see your comment within a day then by all means leave another one. Otherwise, do not worry as we accept comments several times a day and we promise that we will get yours up.
To enter you need to be 18 years of age and a resident of the US. If you have won a contest within the last 30 days you are not eligible. Winners will be announced here. If we do not hear from you within 3 weeks from the date the winners are announced you forfeit your prize and we will select another winner. Prizes will be shipped within 45 days from the day you win.
We will begin choosing winners for this on March 10, 2008, which means you have until March 9, 2008 at 11:59 to enter.
America’s first and funniest counterculture spokesman stars in a new, uncensored 60-minute evening of stand-up comedy. Carlin’s 14th original solo HBO stand-up special, GEORGE CARLIN: IT’S BAD FOR YA is filled with the comic’s dead-on-funny insights on such issues as: the advantages of being old; euphemisms associated with dead people; child worship and the failure of the so-called “self-esteem” movement; his intolerance of stupid and/or boring people; how to respond to parents who show you pictures of their kids; civic superstitions like removing hats in a place of worship, or swearing on the Bible; and above all, our abnormal preoccupation with BS, i.e., “stuff that’s bad for ya!”
Technorati Tags: George Carlin, It’s Bad for Ya, HBO Special, Comedian, Jokes, Funny, Signed Poster, Contest, Giveaway, Literary Illusions
7 words you cant say on tv….you know what they are america
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
“How is it possible to have a civil war”
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity
That is what our house is: a container with a lid to cover our stuff, and a lock on the door for when we go out to get more stuff.
I love the man – he’s the fly on the wall – nails the hilarity of our lives on the head every time!
I always love to hear the Carlinism, “If you think there’s a solution, you’re part of the problem”.
, ” did you ever notice, your own farts, smell okay?” How true,
“Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it”.
He is so funny! I saw him out in Vegas.
“It’s never a game when you’re winning.”
I love this quote, just ask anyone in sports what they think of it!!!
My favorite George Carlin quote is “Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
*sniff*
“Could be meat.”
*sniff*
“Could be cake.”
*sssssssssnifffffffffff*
“It’s meat cake!”
“Dogs have eyebrows. Cats just have s%$t sticking out of their faces that they THINK are eyebrows”
OMG! I could go on and on! I think George Carlin is the funniest man on earth! Thanks for the contest! Hope I win….I can always use more stuff! LOL!
If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.
“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like”
“In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem.”
I love this quote, and it’s so timely!
Please enter me, I’d love to win some “stuff”
Too many of my all time favorite Carlin gems are not suited for youngsters consumption, but here’s a fun, true one…
“The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
“keep on talking, pretty soon you will need a backhoe to dig yourself out”
I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.
Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it
sh!t, p!ss, f*ck, c*nt, c*cksucker, m*therf*ucker and t!ts.
And t!ts doesn’t even belong on the list! It sounds like a snack.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
No one knows what’s next, but everybody does it.
I love his sense of humor. One of my favorite quotes is, “Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.” (Evian spelled backwards is naive)
“Christ didn’t come to Earth to give us the willies….. I give you the Buddy Christ!”
-as Cardinal Glick in Dogma (View Askew rocks)
His stand-up is the best though. A comic genius.
Swimming is not a sport. Swimming is a way to keep from drowning. That’s just common sense!
just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it…
he is a legend!
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”
Would love to own this…I saw him in 1986 and it was great then “Incomplete list of impolite words” was great.
I love the quote
“I think I am, therefore, I am. I think.”
No comment” is a comment.
“Angels, shit. What about goblins? Doesn’t anybody believe in goblins? And zombies. Where the fuck are all the zombies? That’s the trouble with zombies, they’re unreliable. I say if you’re gonna buy that angel bullshit, you may as well go for the goblin-zombie package as well.”
Not only do I not know what’s going on, I wouldn’t know what to do about it if I did.
“The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.”
“Could be meat… could be cake… Looks like meatcake!”
The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.
I have always loved that one! There is another one about raising kids, but I can’t find it.
“What if there were no hypothetical questions?”
“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
“Get ON the plane? Screw that–I’m getting IN the plane! Leave the getting ON the plane to some f*cking daredevil!”
Always think of this routine when I’ve gotta fly somewhere. Rock on, George! Keep tellin’ ‘em like it is!
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!
How very true!!
“people don’t kill squirrels, indifference kills squirrels, they change their mind in the middle of the street”
i want to win!!!
There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
There are 400,000 words in the English language, and there are seven you can’t say on television. What a ratio that is! 399,993 to 7. They must really be baaaad. They must be OUTRAGEOUS to be separated from a group that large. “All of you words over here, you seven….baaaad words.” That’s what they told us, right? …You know the seven, don’t ya? That you can’t say on TV? Shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker and tits.
Abortion—”For humans we call it an abortion, but for chickens it’s called an omelet. Are we that much better than chickens? When’s the last time you heard of a chicken coming home and beating the crap out of his hen?”
I drink my coffee black, not black and blue.
“if it requires a uniform, it’s a worthless endeavor.”
“Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that.”
If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him…is he still wrong? YES!
His Book Club Titles:
“How to Spot Truly Vicious People in Church.”
“House-Hunting for Devil Worshippers.”
I grew up listening to George Carlin. He is one of the wittiest,relevant,clever Comedians that ever walked the Planet. He was hilarious 30 years ago and if equally as funny today! This mans humor is and all ways will be laugh out loud funny and thought provoking!
I am hard pressed to give a favorite quote because I love so many of them but one of my favorites has to be “Just when I figured out the meaning of Life they changed it.”
Because this describes my life to a “T” – this is my favorite quote:
“So when you get right down to it, your house is nothing more than a place to keep your stuff…while you go out and get…more stuff.”
I would love one of his posters to add to my stuff!