As a scary movie lover you walk into any terrifying (in theory) movie hoping for the best. I want my adrenaline pumping and fear coursing through my veins. I want to have my girl jump as she gets scared, too. I want her clinging to me for dear life. What I don’t want is her laughing and rolling her eyes, which is kind of what happened with Amityville: It’s About Time.

Let me start by saying that this movie is incredibly stupid. It’s not because of the plot, which we will go into in a minute. It’s because it makes no effort to be anything more than cheap and tedious. Any chance at enhancing the fear factor was totally skipped over. It’s like they wanted to make a horror movie for a three year old, but with adult themes.

The Plot:
Jacob Sterling is played by Stephen Macht (General Hospital, Knots Landing). He is an architect that is taken away from home to work on a new development in Long Island. When he returns home, he brings with him a clock (I bet you know where it came from). The clock is haunted and causes everyone in the house (and the neighborhood) to begin acting weird.

Andrea Livingston is the opportunistic ex-girlfriend who gave up everything for Jacob, but now it’s time to be on her own. She stays with Jacob’s kids while he is away, but plans to leave when he returns. After a night of hot sex and a morning of a vicious dog bite that tears about Jacob’s leg, Andrea realizes she will need to stay and care for Jacob and while bitter, we only hear her discontent, every other minute. She is played by Shawn Weatherly (Baywatch)

The children are polar opposites. Rusty is a bad boy who doesn’t like school and loves hanging out with the creepy neighbor, Iris Wheeler (Nita Talbot). Rusty is played by Damon Martin (PeeWee’s Big Adventure) and Lisa is played by Megan Ward (Encino Man, The Brady Bunch Movie). Damon is convinced that there is an evil force, but does not no what. This causes him and Wheeler to investigate hoping to find the cause. Lisa, on the other hand, is more worried about her teenage problems and her boyfriend that wants some.

Needless to say, weird things begin happening. Jacob wants to build a town full of Amityville houses, Lisa becomes a raging slut and wants to sleep with everyone including her brother, and Andrea keeps seeing things that aren’t supposed to be there. Eventually some people end up dying. Of course, it never becomes scary enough and not enough people die to satisfy on the gore meter.

When it comes to the acting there are problems there too. Most of the cast are B-television show actors. They are the one timers that are there and gone before you know it. They play dead bodies and homeless people, or in Martin’s case they don’t play anyone because he no longer acts. Macht is just completely over the top as Jacob. I understand the point of his role, but I am not sure that he did. He becomes this comical incarnation of a crazed serial killer. Only this isn’t the remake of Helter Skelter. It’s Amityville. We were looking for pure evil with a nice dose of possession thrown in. Instead, we got the Romper Room on drugs.

The only really disgusting part of the movie (which is the whole point of a movie like this) was Jacob’s leg. After the bite and during the possession he refuses to have it cleaned and treated. Loads of green puss and flesh bubbles later it was pretty gross. Too bad the rest of the film could have been as entertaining. If so, it would have received a higher rating. As if all of this wasn’t bad enough, the ending is absolutely atrocious and child-like in nature. It even ends with the same line that is in the title. Not only does it become cliché it’s also so stupid we can’t stand it.

This movie certainly makes you want to drive to Long Island just to obliterate anything that could possibly be left in order to ensure that no more bad movies are made about this house. Destroy all of the mirrors, dollhouses, clocks, and anything else you can find because if you don’t….they will come back. They always come back.

Audio/Video:
As far as video quality goes everything held up nicely. Everything transferred fine and there was minimal grain. The sound worked fine, as well. The film was on the lower budget scale, but everything came through remarkably well considering that fact.

Amityville: It’s about Time is part of an Amityville Collectors Set that was released by Lionsgate. In the pack you will receive Amityville: It’s About Time, Amityville: Dollhouse, and Amityville A New Generation.

After sitting through this movie, the only thing I can recommend it for is use as a door stopper or a light weight paperweight. It’s not worth watching and would likely be one of the most embarrassing movies in your collection. Save yourself the trouble. If you want Amityville watch the original instead.

Rating:

Technorati Tags: Amityville House, Horror Movie, DVD Review, Lionsgate, Amityville Its About Time, Long Island, Jacob Sterling, Stephen Macht

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