D.O.A. is one of the movies that came off the heels of a video game. The problem is that most movies that were created based off video games suck. I know that sounds harsh, but seriously, check out Alone in the Dark and tell me I am wrong. Sure you occasionally have your Silent Hill or Resident Evil, but those films are few and far between in this genre. Needless to say, most people didn’t blink an eye when the major announcement was made that DOA was becoming a movie. In fact, the announcement was so unexciting I didn’t even know this was a movie until it landed on my desk.
The man behind DOA is action director, Corey Yuen (The Transporter). This was something I noticed first. It gave me hope that this film wouldn’t be so bad. Considering how good Yuen is behind the lens, I was imagining that things would all work out. The movie ended up being sent overseas though and rather than being released to the big screen in the States they opted to send it right to video. I suppose that ultimately says something about the movie, but still I was hanging on to hope because no one likes opening a movie they are positive is going to suck.
Being that this is an action film it’s automatically graded a little bit lower on the believability scale. Most action movies lack superior plots so I try to go a little easier when grading them as long as the acting is semi-good and the action sequences are worth watching. DOA has your standard decent looking chicks and it’s meant to be a lot of fun. The action sequences were alright, but not overly impressive and the fighting needed some work, for sure. The movie moved quickly enough (thank goodness), but the plot was lacking, the acting wasn’t good, and the people and performances were forgotten by the time the credits began to roll.
DOA begins with three women (three of many fighters) that have been sent to an island to enter the annual martial arts tournament. The three women are Jamie Pressly (My Name is Earl, Torque), Devon Aoki (Sin City, War), and Holly Valance (Pledge This).
Pressly plays the sassy and energetic wrestler, longing to go legit, Tina Armstrong. If I had to pick an acting winner it would be her though in a bad film there are rarely any winners. Armstrong wants to prove to the world that she can kick some ass and sees this competition as her chance. While the fight scenes are generally lame, Pressly holds her own and does alright. If nothing else she appears confident.
Aoki plays the part of Kasumi. This part is probably the most interesting as Kasumi has the most important reason for being in the competition. She has come as part of a ninja clan who want to find out what happened to her brother. The brother, played by Collin Chou (The Matrix Reloaded) disappeared after last years tournament and never came home. Aoki is incredibly dry in this film. She shows literally no emotion at all and that causes some problems considering her role. If that wasn’t bad enough the fighting is stiff and deadpan the entire way through. The role shouldn’t have been too hard to play so I am assuming she realized how bad this was or she just didn’t care how it would turn out. It’s a bad move for any actress not to give her all, but it does happen.
Finally, Valance plays Christie. She’s a serious jewel thief and she’s looking to steal anything of worth that isn’t nailed down on the island. Her acting isn’t hot, her body is, but her fight scenes are totally awful. So, you’re looking at one out of three and that’s not good.
Now we need to include the bad guy. He is here for two reasons. The first reason is that he needs to further the plot (and boy that part doesn’t succeed). The second part is because all action movies need a bad guy. This bad guy is Eric Roberts. His goal is to use nanotechnology to gain information about the fighters on the island including their strengths and fighting style. This information will be taken and be able to be downloaded into some sunglasses. The result will be some glasses that allow you to fight and defeat any opponent that you end up against. So, as you can see this pilot is a total wash.
The movie definitely focuses on the girls fighting rather than the guys. You get to see the girls fighting the bad guys and each other. The goal is really to sell the movie based on hot chicks fighting. This means the movie is dependent on how hot you think the girls are. With a PG-13 rating I can tell you they don’t show enough skin to justify the kind of acting and plot that you would find in a pornographic movie. In those movies you can certainly overlook those things. DOA wasn’t so lucky. So, there were many obvious problems.
The performers are not proficient enough in stunts to handle their own work so there are a lot of CGI and camera tricks that are relied on. This is supposed to make the movie flashy, but it’s not impressive enough to manage doing that. Many of the scenes attempt to show bits and pieces of nudity (Christie fights some Cops in a towel), but it’s generally not interesting enough to cause a stir anywhere that makes you forget what a flop this film was intended to be.
The picture quality is decent considering it’s a low budget film. I was able to see and hear everything just fine. There were a few special features, including the trailer and a featurette that dealt with making the film, “East Meets West: Behind the Action.”
As if you didn’t know where this is going, I am about to tell you not to buy this film. In fact, I think you should run from it. Run as far as you can. If you see it in Blockbuster, trample the nearest person to get away from DOA. It will likely be sitting there waiting for someone to rent it, but save yourself the money and get something else. I’ve seen bad movies that are more entertaining than this so I am sure there is something good you can find. Just not this movie because it just isn’t worth the time it takes from your life to watch.
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Technorati Tags: DOA, Dead or Alive, PG 13, Movie Review, DVD, Jamie Pressly, Action Film, Hot Chicks, Bad Acting
