Fields of Terror my ass!!! Some may say that it is not a Children of the Corn movie without Mr. Kung Fu himself, David Carradine. Actually, it is a Children of the Corn movie without him and it turns out being much better than this movie. While I am a fan of one of the stars of this movie, I am sad to say that I sincerely thought this movie sucked.

The cast is not so bad so you would think that the movie would be able to be halfway decent. Well, we thought that and we were wrong too. It’s not so great. In fact, it’s not even half great. Perhaps it was the direction and writing because that definitely has something to do with the main problem with this film. Ethan Wiley wrote and directed Children of the Corn 5.

Funnily enough, he also directed Blackwater Valley Exorcism. I am sad to report he did not learn much about the skill of direction in his gap between films. To find out more, check out our review on the Blackwater Valley Exorcism. If only I had known he directed Blackwater Valley Exorcism before I endured this putrid film, I probably would not have watched it.

The Plot

Six college kids head into Gatlin in order to say goodbye to a friend who has died. Taking his urn they planned to release his ashes somewhere in Gatlin. They were heading to a hole-in-the-wall bar in order to celebrate with some drinks and talk about their friend. Two cars were heading to Gatlin. Lazlo (Ahmet Zappa) and his girlfriend were in one car. Stacy Galina (Allison), Alexis Arquette (Greg), Eva Mendes (Kir), and Greg Vaughn (Tyrus) are in another car.

Kir is taking the loss of their friend very hard because she was engaged to him. It becomes quite the surprise when Allison reveals that the death was not an accident. By this time the group is stuck in Gatlin. Allison is acting odd, Kir and Tyrus are having a one night stand (he wants more, she doesn’t), and Greg is trying to keep everyone together. That’s a little hard to do though because Lazlo and company never made it in the first place.

As Greg mentions more than once the entire town smells of burnt popcorn. It is explained this is because of a constantly burning fire that won’t burn out. Turns out this fire is vital to the cult children’s existence or rather their 18th birthday. As we move through the movie we realize one of the girl’s brothers is part of the cult and she rushes to try and save him before its too late.

The Low Down

Common Children of the Corn knowledge will tell you that the cult children always offer themselves to He Who Walks behind the Rows on their 19th birthday. Up until you are 19 you are considered a child and therefore are able to help the harvest and sow the land of the necessary seeds of life. However, this movie has people jumping into fires on their 18th birthday. True fans of the series will not appreciate the deviation this far down the line.

David Carradine play’s Luke. He is the one who cares for the cult children in the name of He Who Walks behind the Rows. While this is nice in theory, the children have always relied on themselves and never allowed a parent to care for them. Why now? It really doesn’t make sense unless Kung Fu was canceled so we decided to toss him in to help him out.

The older actor’s were not bad, but the story was stupid enough to make their roles seem like they were played poorly. I blame the direction more than I do the actors on this one because the majority of these actors have shined in others roles while the director has directed other movies just as poorly.

My biggest problem is the children. The leader of the cult, the head child, is meant to be scary. Adam Wylie was not scary. Well, he wasn’t scary unless you count all those moments where he talked stiffly and over-annunciated everything he said. Sad to say, the choice to cast Wylie in this role largely ruined the entire picture.

We ranked this film 7 out of 7 because DAMN it sucked.