Dante and Randall are the two main characters in Clerks. Everybody knows at least one Dante and Randall. That’s what makes them so likeable. I remember the first time I watched Clerks.

There it was…3:30 a.m. on cable. I was wide awake, but about to try to get some sleep. As I flipped aimlessly through the channels in hopes of finding a cure for my insomnia before heading to the sack…I came across this shitty looking black and white movie that looked like it’d been made on a $5 dollar camera.

So, I decided to stop and watch it. I have always been a firm believer that sometimes (many times) independent films have more bite and entertainment than Hollywood Blockbusters.

It didn’t take long for me to be hooked. Like many 20-something semi-intelligent people I could relate to the slacker mentality. When I worked menial labor jobs I was Randall. I looked for ways to amuse myself, which often meant I was trying to find new and creative ways to tell people to fuck off.

I remember working at McDonald’s with a friend of mine from high school. He would put us at opposite sides of the drive thru and we would talk through the headset. He would talk dirty to me, and I would bitch about customers. We would do anything to make the time pass and that included talking about anything and everything. No subject was ever off limit.

Later in life I became a waitress and I worked with a gay man. He would reminisce about life as a drag queen in San Francisco. This was not a pretty man (or woman) mind you. However, he’d pop his Vicodin and we would joke about the other waitresses, the owners’ ass, and life in general.

Clerks is one of those movies that you can relate to. It was hilarious in that….’I could see myself in that situation’ sort of way. I have watched it at least a thousand times since I saw it about six years ago. Caitlyn Bree having sex with the dead guy in the toilet and 37 dicks (38 counting Dante) are just classic moments.

The milk maids, the Chewlee’s gum rep, and “I’m not even supposed to be here today!” are things that make me laugh every time. Of course, we can’t forget Happy Scrappy Hero Pup!

So naturally when I heard Clerks 2 was coming out I was ecstatic. The new misadventures of Dante and Randall will be well worth seeing. I’ve been hearing it’s hilarious and some critics have even walked out on the film. In fact, Kevin Smith was recently in the news for posting a blog about one particular critic who has caused a fuss about the lack of wholesomeness of Kevin’s new movie.

Pardon my French here, but what the fuck did he expect to see in a Kevin Smith film? It’s not all sunshine, roses, and sweet little puppies. If you want movies like that go watch Sherry Lewis and Lamb Chop and leave the adult movies to the big people.

However, if you’re a true slacker and have appreciation for the overeducated, underprivileged sort of crowd I’m sure you will love this next installment of Clerks as much as I’m sure I will.

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